Hello my golf friend. Welcome to Above Par. I'm your host, Kathy Hartwood. I show you how to take more of your talent to the golf course without practicing harder, taking more lessons or buying new equipment. I show you how to end the frustration of underperforming so you can start playing to your potential. This is where you are going to learn how to think above par so you can play below par.
Let's get to it. Welcome back to Think Above Par. Super happy you're here. Hoping you're having a beautiful, beautiful week. I have a podcast today that with Thanksgiving coming up. So if you're listening to this live, Thanksgiving is next week. If you're not, this is about gratitude and I'm inspired by Thanksgiving coming up, which if you listen to this in outside of the states, Thanksgiving is about being thankful and having gratitude for what we have and what we've had for the past year.
So we give thanks at Thanksgiving. So I wanted to talk about I thought it was a great opportunity to talk about gratitude and how that plays a role not only in your life, but in your golf life too. And I have a journal that is coming out that I encourage you to get that is arranged for your brain. It is a way for you to work on the mental skills that are going to help move you and move the needle relative to your golf game to that next level.
It's about learning how to self coach. It's a journal to do all that and that's going to be available for anybody very soon, hopefully before Christmas. And I'll have some links that you can pre order that. But inside of that is about being grateful and learning to get in the habit of gratitude. And I'm going to talk about golf gratitude as well. But first what I want to do is I want to share with you some data about gratitude and being grateful.
And there's been lots of research on the benefits of it. So let me share a little bit of information about gratitude with you. So Robert Emmons, which is a professor at UC Davis and he's an expert in gratitude, describes gratitude in two parts. The first part is that it is an affirmation of the goodness in life. And the second part is a recognition that this goodness comes from external sources, others, nature or a higher power.
It's gratitude helps people realize that they wouldn't be where they are without help. So this is super useful for those people who are out there who like to do things alone or by themselves or think that they don't need support or they don't get to ask for help. Being grateful and expressing gratitude helps you realize that you wouldn't be where you are without help. So that is a description really of what gratitude brings.
But there's research that shows that gratitude is also a big social glue for people. It nurtures relationships and improves individual well being. When we're grateful for other people, we actually increase our bonding with them, our relationships, our connection with people, when we have gratitude for them and what they contribute to us and our lives. There's also a study that says writing gratitude letters or journaling can significantly boost mental health.
It showed that participants in this study actually experienced lasting happiness and reduce depression up to six months after these interventions of doing this gratitude journaling. So it will boost your mental health, but besides that, besides mental wellbeing, it also boosts your self esteem and promotes a sense of life satisfaction by expressing your gratitude. There's also evidence that showing gratitude encouraged healthier eating habits in teenagers, emphasizing more fruits and vegetables over junk food, which if it can help teenagers, it can for sure help us too.
So that was one study. So besides that physical benefit of nutrition, it also there's studies that link it to fewer common ailments like headaches and sleep, better sleep and improved heart health. There's a whole study on actually on heart health and gratitude. There's also a study that encourages people to list three good things, three things that you're grateful for, three daily positive things. And that helped build a positive recall bias which ultimately strengthened their optimism and their resilience over time.
So you're able to recall things in your life more readily. If you practice the habit of coming up with three good things or three things to be grateful for, which is one of the things that I have inside my journal is finding three things to be grateful for on a daily basis and get in the habit of doing, doing that. I would tell you when I first started doing gratitude, I had a hard time coming up with anything to be grateful for.
And a lot of times my dog Stella made the list like every day. I was super grateful for Stella. So there's moments when we get a little bit down and as I call in the basement, so to speak, when we're having a hard time struggling with finding anything to be grateful about. This happens because as I talk about the different places of our nervous system being when we're in the basement, so to speak, when we're feeling low and a little sad and depressed, not literal basem, but when we're feeling down, when we're there, all we seem to think or be able to come up with are more negative thoughts.
It's very challenging for us to come up with positive thoughts like things are going to be okay or things are working out. That's why it's really hard often when you have someone who's just really being down in the dumps to give them positive encouragement and to help them come back out of it because they're just not open to seeing it. So this can happen on the golf course as well.
Right? You make a couple of double bogeys in a row and you're trying to come up with something to be grateful for. When you're feeling really down, anything about your golf swing that looks hopeful or optimistic or positive becomes very challenging. So one of the things that's really going to serve you in this is that as you get in the habits, you'll create more of a positive bias or positive recall bias.
It'll be easier for you to come up with some things that are going to be more uplifting and feel better when you're out there playing. And of course, when we know when we're thinking things that are more positive and we're feeling better, we're going to create better results. Right? We get to pivot and shift out of those moments more readily. We become more resilient. So in one of Robert Emmons books called the Gratitude Project, he talks about how gratitude doesn't really eliminate negativity, but what it does is it offers perspective and resilience.
It magnifies positive feelings and helps people navigate challenges more effectively, which we definitely need when we're on the golf course, not to mention in our day to day life. Another thing that gratitude does is it helps build our relationships not only with our social circle, but with our family and people who are close to us when we get in the habit of practicing gratitude. Okay, so those are some of the real world, factual, research based reasons on why to practice gratitude.
And what I want to share with you today are some ways to practice gratitude relative to the game of golf. So practice it on your off course life. Practice it for sure on Thanksgiving. I want you to listen to this podcast if you're listening in real time and really have a week to think about it before you get to that holiday where we might be with some people who are a little bit more challenging than other people and our families get together.
We get to get in the habit, already ready of practicing, practicing gratitude and finding some things to be grateful for. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about golf gratitude and how you're going to use this for golf and how it's going to enhance your experience and help you pivot when you're out on the golf course. So in the journal in my range for your brain journal, I encourage you to come up with three things to be grateful for every day.
Find some three things that you're either proud of or grateful for, and this is what I share. Gratitude isn't just a feel good practice, it's a game changer for your golf performance. When you take a moment to reflect on what you're grateful for, you shift your focus away from stress, frustration and anxiety, key emotions in golf that can sabotage your swing. When you intentionally focus on what you're thankful for, you calm the part of your brain that triggers anxiety and doubt.
It's impossible to be grateful and anxious at the same time. Gratitude helps keep your mind calm, clear and centered, which translates directly into more confident shots and better decision making on the golf course. Okay, so here are some things from the journal that I have that I want to share with you that are prompts to help you start the practice of being grateful. So one of the things for golf and one of the things that I suggest is that just like when you come up with some thoughts to have on the golf course that you like to hear yourself say, those are a lot of times caddy phrases that I say or power phrases for you to help remind yourself to stay on point.
A lot of times they're things that you might say to your friend if you needed words of encouragement. The reason I use that as an example is because when you come up with things to say to your friend, they're usually things that you like to hear yourself. So that's usually a good way of finding those phrases. I encourage you to write them down on an index card or an extra, a scorecard.
And the reason is so that doesn't crinkle and make noise and it doesn't disintegrate in your golf bag. It's going to be there. It's going to be easy access for you to tap into when you're in the basement. So you have those thoughts readily for you to see to help bring you back out and help you mentally pivot on the golf course. So being finding those things that you're grateful for is a great intention to set for the day.
And here's some ideas on how to come up with some. So one of the questions you want to ask yourself what are three things you're grateful for in your golf game today and Think beyond the scorecard. So if you made a six or you made an eight, it's hard to be grateful for your score or that number. It could be that you're driving it perfectly that day. It could be the camaraderie with your playing partners or even just the chance to play golf.
Gratitude will keep you focused on what's working that day, instead of dwelling on, like, a missed putt or a missed bunker shot or a missed chip. So before you start a round or while you're on the golf course in the middle of playing and you're having a moment, focus on or think about three things that you could be grateful for relative to your game of golf. So, for instance, you know, you might have been hitting five fairways out of 14 fairways for the last eight rounds, and you've already hit seven fairways that day, right?
That's something that you could be grateful for. Or if you've been really struggling out of the bunkers and suddenly you're, you know, hitting out decent bunker shots. So that's something that you could be grateful for. Those small moments of gratitude really can make a big difference in shifting you from those moments where we're going to struggle out on the golf course. Another one is to reflect on a recent round, which goes back to, like, what is one aspect of your game that you're thankful for and why?
So it could be you being resilient after a tough hole or simply enjoying the fresh air, or acknowledging the moments that you can keep your mindset positive and you can reduce your anxiety. So what part of the mental aspect of golf are you grateful for? You know, are there times when people used to bother you and now they don't bother you so much? Are there times when the mower would go by or the people were watching you and you're not as distracted?
Do you find that you have a tendency to get anxious over certain shots and you're finding yourself less anxious, or you're managing your anger so much differently than you used to before, and it's having a good impact on your golf game. Those are moments that you can be grateful for, especially when you're out there playing golf. Another one is, who are the people you're thankful for in your golf journey?
So it could be your coach, it could be a friend. It could be people who you play with all the time. It could be someone who really supports you. It could even be a competitor, somebody who pushes you to become a better version of yourself that helps you play your best golf. It could be A super annoying person that helps you manage your mind. Like, I'm playing with this person who annoys the crap out of me, who talks too much.
And I'm so grateful that they're in my group today because I get to learn how to mentally pivot. I get to learn how to be more mentally resilient. I get to watch and witness my brain and get really self aware about why the heck they bug me. And I'm going to learn to give people grace and give them space. And I'm so grateful that I get paired for this person today.
Like, how big of a pivot would that be for some of you? If you could be grateful for those annoying people that you get a chance at an opportunity to play golf with, that would shift your whole experience on the golf course, right? Instead of that person being in your kitchen all day long, you get to sit there and say, thank you for talking too much. Thank you for being so annoying.
I get to learn how to pivot. It is such a game changer for yourself and your golf game when you take an opportunity to go out and look at the difference, things that we get to be grateful for and get in the habit of doing that day in and day out. So I encourage you to start finding three things in your day to day life, whether you're playing golf or not playing golf, to be grateful for.
And then before you go and play golf, get in the habit of finding things to be grateful for before you even tee off, right? Because I promise you, you might start the first hole and go, oh, my gosh, I'm so happy to be playing this golf course. I'm so happy to be with my friend playing it. This is going to be. It's gonna be such a great day.
I'm so happy that the weather is perfect and I have an opportunity to do this. And then you're gonna triple bogey the second hole and you're gonna be like, screw this day, right? Like, I hate everybody and everything. And you'll forget all the reasons that you were grateful for being there in the first place. And when you have it and you've written it down and you've stuck it in your golf bag or you've written it down in your journal, you get to tap into that quicker.
You get to use that as a way to pivot so that you don't stay in a place that doesn't serve you emotionally and for your golf game. All right, my friends practice gratitude. And I just want to share how grateful I am that you are here that you are listening to my podcast, that you're sharing it with other people. I really appreciate all the feedback. I appreciate you listening and I appreciate you working on the mental part of your game.
Because not only will it serve you, but it'll also serve those people that you live with and that you communicate with and that you deal with on a daily basis. And because of that, you just made your little community and your world brighter. So I am very grateful for you. Thank you, my friends. Have a beautiful week and I'll talk to you next Wednesday. Bye. And if you're ready to level up, or if you feel like you didn't get what you wanted out of your golf game this season, or you felt like you underperformed, I'm looking for four to five serious golfers who want to play to their potential and feel proud of the way that they showed up and the results they created on the golf course.
So if that's you and you feel like you're ready, make sure that you look at the show notes for a link to schedule a short 10 minute clarity call so we can see if we're a good fit.
