“I’m So Fricking Proud”: A Real Golf Mindset Transformation

This is a clip from a live coaching call inside the Your Mental Caddy community — not a scripted interview, just a real conversation about what mental transformation on the golf course can actually look like.

Kris Henderson, a member of the community since day one, jumps on the call fresh off qualifying for a USGA Women’s Senior event to talk through how she handled it — a double bogey, a triple bogey, a bad lie in the fescue, and plenty of pressure — without letting any of it wreck her round.

And that’s the transformation.

We talk about what “18 Proud” actually means in the moment, why your next best move matters more than your last mistake, and how learning to have your own back changes the way you make decisions, commit to shots, and recover when things don’t go your way.

Kris also shares how some of the mental game coaching she once resisted became part of her biggest breakthrough.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you can actually change the way you think, feel, and respond on the golf course, this is a real-life example of what’s possible.

Not the highlight reel. The actual work.

Come experience conversations like this inside the Your Mental Caddy community.

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to Above Par. I'm your host, Kathy Hartwood. I show you how to take more of your talent to the golf course without practicing harder, taking more lessons, or buying new equipment. I show you how to end the frustration of underperforming so you can start playing to your potential. This is where you are going to learn how to think above par so you can play below par. Let's get to it. Hello my golf friend, welcome back to Think Above Par. I'm super happy that you're here. So today I have a special call. I have been having a community working on the mental part of the game for I think five, six years now. And one of the people who's been with me since day one just recently qualified for a USGA event. And she came onto the call and talked about her win and talked about the transformation that she has had. And it was so impactful. I wanted you to hear it directly from her. And she talked about her experience and how she has shifted and changed the way that she manages herself on the golf course. So that not only can she start having some amazing success, but also walk off of 18, being proud of the way that she showed up. So I hope you enjoy it and congratulations to Chris Henderson and qualifying for a USGA event. Here we go. How's everybody doing? So I always like to start with some wins, but I'm going to just call out Chris over here. Amazing high five. If you saw that inside of school, I posted she qualified for the USGA event, the women's seniors. So congratulations. Tell us about your experience. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Can you hear me?

SPEAKER_01 1:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

Okay. I am so freaking 18 proud. I can't even explain it. They changed the pairings and the time beforehand, and I worked through all that. But I had a double and a triple. And I handled them like so amazingly. Like I'm so freaking proud. On hole number two, which could have sidelined me. I decided to lay up with a three-wood because it was fescue and I didn't want a big number. And I pulled it a little left. And then I was like, okay, now I have to chip out. And I landed in a divot. I hit it out of the divot and it it went up and down. And as it was coming down, it hit the flagstick and careened off of the green. And then I had to chip up and I ended up two-putting because I was a little careless. But every decision I made, like I made the decision to not try to go for the green. And I said, I can handle the divot. And I I thought about you. It's like, okay, you know, if if this is 50% bad, I'm gonna get another break. And I just I totally forgot about it. I finished the hole and I moved on. And I had one hole that I was a little concerned with. I and I tripled it, but I was so freaking proud. I hit a great drive. My second shot, I pulled into the fescue and I went over and I looked at it. And so there was a little layup zone and then there was hazard, and then it was uphill 135 to the green. Um, and I looked at it and I'm like, there's no way I'm hacking and slashing this out of here and not either ending up in a worse position or in the hazard. So I took it on playable, I went through my options. I was confident I made a nice swing from the layup zone. I just hit it a little too good and it went over the back. And then I was a little cautious coming back because it was a tricky green, but I had my back and I never even, it wasn't like, oh my God, I made a triple. It was like I made like one bad swing, and I was probably a little cautious on the green, but I was okay with that. And it turned into an eight, but like proud moment, and I survived and and I didn't let it affect the rest of my game. You know, I was just so flipping proud. I just thought about you like the whole time. I didn't even remember the double. Well, I remembered the double on number two, but I didn't remember what happened because I had processed through it like really quick. And it's like, you know what? You made good swings, you made good decisions, and I just moved on. It was just like you were just right there on my shoulder, and I was just 18 proud. Like it's so many good things.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

I love that I'm so so freaking excited for you and happy for you. And I love I love how you're witnessing like my takeaway, and everybody else might have a different takeaway. I love how you just the having your own back. The other thing, too, in a qualifier is really important is patience, which I heard you say that you had it's important just to stay patient and keep going and not get affected by number two per se, or get affected by another hole and you keep going. And being smart, making good decisions. You made those decisions and you had your own back. And we talked about committing and trusting yourself in the last month, and part of that becomes easier. I talked about how when you have your own back, it's easier to commit. And when you know you're gonna have your own back, it's easier to trust yourself. And when you know you're gonna have your own back, it's easier to make decisions. So we're working from the back end forward, right? We trust ourselves, we commit to a shot, and then we know what our response is going to be. And when we know what our response is going to be, aka having our own back, it becomes easier to trust and commit over shots, which is what I heard a lot in what you just said in that. What do you think about it?

SPEAKER_00 5:56

Absolutely. Well, your email came out last week about what's your next best move. And that is not a strong suit for me. Um, like especially in team golf, Karen will tell you, I just kept trying to hit like a four hybrid out of the rough in Florida. It's not smart moves. And I was just trying to get myself back to where if I hadn't missed the shot or whatever. And now just having that email come out just last week about you know, your next best move and how powerful that is. Like I didn't realize it how having your own back and and making that decision. And and I've seen it like Karen and I, we were in the same, and this was like months ago, but it's still now it sticks to me. We were in the same spot and she had decided to lay up and and go for the layup. And I was gonna go for the green, and I missed my shot, and we ended up side by side, but she went up there with all confidence because she hit the shot she wanted, where even though we were in the same spot, I didn't hit the shot I wanted. And I and then I went ahead and messed up the hole, and she like just went along in this nice confidence. We were had the same shot. And because my shot was not good getting me to the layup, I didn't commit, I didn't yeah, yeah, and that's about thinking about your future self too.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Like, how do I want to stand over this next shot? If I mishit this shot, if it doesn't turn out the way I want, where's that ball gonna go? And then I got to stand over that shot, the two of you being very equal. She hit a shot in there that she was like, This is perfect. I feel very good about what I just did. And you're like, I just screwed up. That's horrible. And now your brain has all this whole story. You have to deal with this person, that person standing over that shot, which is in a different state. Not that you're saying you can't get to a good state. I'm just saying you're in a different state work. Then for her, she's like walking in with her little swagger that she has that she walks with, right? And you're coming in and you're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm right next to her. She played conservative. I went for it, right? The story that we have. So thinking about your future self is important too.

SPEAKER_00 8:13

Yeah, but I just I had to text you. I was just so excited that again, you were just right here and uh like so, so happy.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Okay, so Chris, if you all don't know, she's a founder. So you have been with me since day one. She has been doing this work all along the way, and so it's pays off, right? And you had this on a different call about a lot of resistance you had about me telling you something about making people neutral. And you're like, this lady doesn't know what the hell she's talking about because these people are not neutral. But you didn't quit and you hung in there. And I remember that being some of the resistance that you had to certain topics, like we all have it because we have these stories in our head. But I'm just saying the transformation that you have had over the course of these years is remarkable, and I'm super proud of you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it was about people, wasn't it? That was it was about people, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

People watching, or there were rules officials all around, and that used to freak me out, and so many things used to freak me out. I remember you telling me, like, I didn't think you could change, and I'm like, oh my god, that's like, but I wanted it so bad, and I just didn't I didn't say that to you.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Yes, you didn't say I said that after you changed. I didn't say that. Yes, yes, yes, yes, okay. After I changed. I said, I wasn't sure if this was something that you were actually gonna be able to shift on because you were dug in. And I just want you all to think about this. I call it coachable and not coachable. I mean, you clearly are very coachable, but I'm saying when you start digging into a thought, I know I'm going slightly off topic, where you dig your feet in, you know what I'm saying? You're like going, no, this is not that's a red flag for you to look at something. That is you lacking some flexibility or open-mindedness. I'm not saying you have to give it up. I'm not saying you're wrong, I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying be curious about why you dig into topics, whatever they might be. There's usually some history involved in that. But that's a place where you want to shine more light. Like, why am I digging into this? Or resistance. Even in things that I say, I'm not saying believe anything or everything I say. I'm not saying any of that. I'm just saying, think about when I say something and you can hear fingernails on a chalkboard or the hairs on your arm kind of go up, or you're just like, what the heck is she talking about? When you start hearing those conversations, I don't care. I'm just saying that's a red flag for you to sit there and go, huh, why do I have a little bit of pushback on this? What about this is bothering me? Or what do I not want to hear in this? And that's really where a great next layer of growth is going to be for you because Chris would not be likely at the place that she is at right now if she wasn't willing to yield on some of those things that she really dug her heels in on. Don't you think, Chris?

SPEAKER_00 11:06

Absolutely 100%. I didn't mean to dig my heels in, I just couldn't see a way out. Like I never thought I would get back there. I think it's been five or six years. Um and I'm just so flipping proud and happy. And and but again, I and I talked to Karen on the way home, and she goes, What I'm hearing is I think you'd be 18 proud, even if you didn't make it. And I'm like, I would have been. Just think about this.

SPEAKER_01 11:35

Your round was your round, right? And then the things that allowed you to qualify were what other people shot. So your round is your container. Let's say you shot 75. I'm just gonna make a number up. It doesn't matter. 75, you're like, I'm proud of my 75. And they're like, Are you sure? You're like, yeah, I'm really proud of my 75. And then they drop a drape off of the what everybody else shot, and you don't qualify. Like four other people shot 72. Are you still proud? Right? Are you still proud of it? Because you can't control what the other people in the field shoot. Or let's say you had a round where you're just not super proud. You shot 78 and you didn't handle yourself well, and you put your score up on the board, and they're like, Are you proud of that round? I am totally not proud. And they drop the drape and you qualify. Are you now you proud? Are you following what I'm saying? It's like you get to be proud of your round in its own container, regardless of what the other people around you do, because for sure you can't control those things. This is why 18 Proud is so important, is that you get to set that for the day. We don't want to make our results and whether we get to feel good about ourselves based on what other people do. That's such a place of lack of control. We're at the effect of. So I love that, Chris. Yeah. So we'll be room for you.

SPEAKER_00 12:52

Thank you. Thank you. Oh, well, I was just gonna say like I had four birdies, which I don't normally have in a round, especially in this high pressure. But honestly, I was more proud of how I handled the double and the triple, you know, and was able to free myself and just keep going. And to that allowed me to have those and get there. And 100%. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Yeah. So like it's because the question is if I didn't, if I reacted to the double and triple, would I have made the birdies? Right. And the point is we don't know because we won't have that in comparison, but it's how you handled yourself, put yourself in a position where you could make birdies, where the other way would not, right? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Way to go. Okay, there you have it. So if you want to be a part of the community, it's called Your Mental Caddy at your mentalcaddy.com. There is a free membership that you're welcome to join. And part of this group is a paid version of it that you can find all the information inside of your Mentalcaddy.com. Come join me there. Have a beautiful week, and I'll talk to you next Wednesday.

unknown 13:56

Bye.